No one ever said marriage was easy. When times get tough, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should call it quits. Although, sometimes it does. One of the worst things you can do is ignore the early warning signs of divorce in your relationship. Coming to terms with your marital problems can help you determine if your relationship is worth fighting for, or if it is the end. So, how do you know if your marriage is on the rocks? Check out five early warning signs of divorce.
1. There’s Minimal Communication
Whether it’s communication over more substantial issues like finances, or smaller day-to-day issues like frustrations about cleaning the house, poor communication can be a sign of an unhappy and unhealthy relationship. You and your spouse need to be communicating your feelings, frustrations, and doubts with each other, or else your marriage might run straight into the ground.
Without proper communication, you don’t know what the other one is thinking, which can lead to assumptions that aren’t always accurate. If you don’t feel like speaking to your wife about what’s going on in your life, or you’d rather let yourself get angry than settle issues with her, the lack of communication can be detrimental to your relationship.
The issue doesn’t just stem from a lack of communication when there are problems. If you find you don’t have the urge to share your successes or joys with your spouse, or don’t feel the need to congratulate her on her achievements, that’s a red flag too.
2. Lack of Intimacy
If you and your wife haven’t been intimate for a while, ask yourself why. Is one (or both) of you always too busy, or too exhausted? Has the flame burnt out? If you feel like you don’t want to be intimate or affectionate with your wife because you’ve fallen out of love with her, or aren’t attracted to her anymore, that’s a cause for concern. Science shows that intimacy strengthens relationships. You don’t have to be intimate all the time, but if you rarely feel the need to be intimate with your spouse, this can be one of the strongest warning signs of divorce.
This doesn’t just mean inside the bedroom. Look at your affection outside the bedroom too. Are you and your spouse touchy? When you touch her, does she shy away, or do you shy away when she gets close to you? If your first reaction is to flinch when your wife touches you, or if you have no urge to reciprocate the touch, this could be a sign of serious trouble.
3. Your Interactions Have Become Increasingly Negative
During the honeymoon phase of your marriage, spousal interactions are almost always positive. But as life goes on and reality starts setting in, things don’t always go as planned. Ask yourself, how do you and your wife treat each other when life gets tough? Are you there for each other, or do you use each other as verbal punching bags for your frustrations? Do you solve problems together, or do you blame one another for the bad things happening in your life?
Disagreements are typical in any relationship, but if you’re noticing more negative interactions than positive ones, it could be a signal your relationship is going downhill. If you spend most of your time arguing, criticizing one another or putting each other down, it’s not a healthy marriage. You and your wife should be supportive and caring towards one another. If your interactions have become insensible or even abusive, it’s time to reassess your marriage and ask if divorce is right for you.
4. You Find Ways to Avoid Your Wife
Would you rather spend more time away from your wife than in her presence? If you know she’s going to your daughter’s soccer match, do you work late, so you don’t have to see her at the game? If she tries to plan a date night for you two, do you make excuses to get out of it every time? Are you feeling the urge to spend more time with your friends and family, away from her?
If you’re trying to avoid your wife, this is a telltale warning sign of divorce. Everyone needs a break from their spouse from time to time, but if you notice yourself consciously making plans to stay away from her, especially if you don’t spend much time with her in the first place, then it’s time to figure out why. Did she do something to upset you, or have your feelings changed so much that you feel annoyed or anxious when you’re around her? Getting to the root of why you’re avoiding her is the first step to figuring out whether or not to call it quits.
5. You Notice Problems, But There’s No Motivation to Make Them Better
It’s one thing to realize there are problems in your marriage and do your best to fix them. It’s another to notice the problems are there and not care. If there’s no motivation to fix them or make them better, this is a major red flag. It could mean you don’t care about your relationship or partner anymore because if you did, there would be some urgency to mend whatever’s broken.
A lack of motivation often means a lack of interest. If you’re not interested in what your spouse is up to, her needs, or what makes her happy, what does this say about your relationship? If you don’t feel the need to make things better in your marriage when things go awry, it could mean you’re over it.
How to Deal with the Early Warning Signs of Divorce
You don’t go from happily married to divorced with no warning signs in sight.
If you feel like there’s something seriously off in your marriage, don’t ignore it. One of the worst things you can do is let it fester inside you to the point where you become angry and frustrated. Get your marital disagreements and problems out into the open if you feel like something’s off. It’s not healthy to want to avoid your wife, or not communicate or want to be intimate with her. If you’re encountering one or all of these feelings, it could be an early warning sign of divorce, and you need to get to the root of the problem.
Every marriage is different, and in some cases, if you deal with it appropriately, you’ll be able to improve your relationship and get back on track. In others, it’s time to figure out whether you’d be happier without your spouse. It’s not an easy awareness to come to, but before anything else, you need to accept and deal with the fact you’re feeling certain ways.
Some feelings, thoughts, and actions are easier to accept and overcome than others. If there’s a lack of communication or constant arguments between you and your wife, you need to get to figure out if it’s something you can overcome. If you’re feeling a lack of interest, love or motivation to get things back on track, it could mean the fire has burnt out for good.
Have you noticed any of these early warning signs of divorce in your relationship? What are your suggestions for responding to these warning signs?
(c) Can Stock Photo / vicnt
While no couple walks down the aisle intending to one day sign divorce papers, it is common for marriages to end in divorce. Maybe you went into it with unrealistic expectations, rushed into marriage without really getting to know your spouse, or experienced a catastrophic life event that changed you…
It’s over. Finished. Your divorce is final. Now that it’s over, what are you going to do? Maybe you had pictured what life after divorce was going to be like, maybe you never thought about it until after the final decree was entered. Either way, now it’s time to face…
What happened to happily ever after? Isn’t married life supposed to be great? You were passionately in love before. What happened? Suddenly you realize that you hate your wife – the same woman that was your best friend and love of your life. So now what? Who Is This Person?…
Dating after divorce, how do you know you’re ready? Well for starters, the ink is dry. The actual divorce is final. That’s a great first step. Boxes have been packed. And unpacked again. Days are brighter and a weight has lifted. You’re settled into your new life. Routines have started to emerge and you’re getting your sea legs back again. Life has returned to what is now your new normal. You may actually be getting the hang of this.
And yet something is missing. Rather, someone is missing. Someone to do things with. Bounce ideas off of. Laugh with. Watch the game. Go to dinner. Perhaps a night of “Netflix and chill” or legitimately watch a movie and relax. You don’t know who is missing, exactly, because you haven’t met her yet. Or maybe you have, but have yet to ask her out. Known or unknown, there is a tangible absence.
Signs That You Might Be Ready
Dating after divorce can be the best thing for you, but how do you know you’re ready? Well, if the thought of approaching a woman for the first time in ages scares you a bit, it’s likely time. If you feel like you’ve been out of the dating loop and wonder what’s changed since you were last single, it’s likely time. And if you find yourself giving extra long thought to the woman in line at your coffee shop, you guessed it… it’s likely time.
But, if you want to be incredibly sure you’re ready to begin dating after your divorce, know that you have options. While we don’t necessarily have an app for that, we have something that may be of service to you. For example, if you can legitimately send yourself through the gauntlet, Wipe-Out style, and find yourself standing victoriously, arms in the air at the other end… you, my friend, are ready.
Obstacle One To Dating After Divorce
The Tequila Test
After a night of solid drinking*, are you able to have a conversation that, not even once, ever mentions the name of your ex? This means no ranting, raving, or carrying on in any manner about how much you, or she, was to blame for the demise of your marriage. This involves, but is not limited to, drunk texting any of your friends on the matter. Or worse yet – her. To successfully pass The Tequila Test, no drive-bys of her house are allowed. Not even to casually see what she’s up to or to see if any cars are parked outside. (Dude, you aren’t stupid enough to drink and drive, right?)
In order to claim victory of this first test, singing is also strictly prohibited. No playing of ‘your’ song from any device. Points will be deducted, resulting in a negative score, if you even approach a juke box. And you will be immediately disqualified in the event you attempt to serenade her from a balcony, whether she has one or not.
* For all my newly divorced non-drinkers, not only do I salute you, but I offer the following workaround: Stay up for a solid 24 hours then go for a brisk run, the delirium effect will be equivalent.
What passing the first gauntlet means: Where your mind goes when it wanders speaks volumes about who and what you’re missing. If, after knocking back a couple of pints, you’re able to hold a decent conversation that doesn’t involve your ex, you’re in decent shape. You may now level up.
What wiping out means: If you failed this exercise miserably, take heart. And also take a good couple of weeks off before re-attempting. Give your emotions and your liver time to heal.
Obstacle Two To Dating After Divorce
The Walk Through
You’re one step closer to dating, so let’s take you one step closer to being confident you’re ready. Imagine you new date comes over for dinner. You’re cooking together. She compliments you on your cookware. Do you tell her, involuntarily or otherwise, it was a wedding gift? She spills pasta sauce on her white t-shirt and goes into the restroom to clean if off. She looks under the sink for a fresh bar of soap, does she find anything of your exes? You run to your closet to grab her a t-shirt, do you mistakenly grab the one you haven’t been able to part with? Mail is on the the hallway table, is any of it still addressed to Mrs. Yourlastname?
What passing the second gauntlet means: If your divorce is final and you’re ready to move on, your ex will be out. All the way out. Her clothes. Her mail. Her toiletries. Her everything. Gone. If you can walk through every room in the house and not see anything that your ex could call you to come pick up at any minute, you’ve passed The Walk Through. You may now level up.
What wiping out means: Need help getting a passing grade on this? Have a female friend come over and do a walkthrough for you. She’ll spot everything that needs to go, from a woman’s perspective. While the Great Purple One, may he rest in peace, was loved by many, likely none more than his ex-wife. Famous or not, we don’t want to see you on an episode of Hollywood Exes. Please don’t let this happen to you.
Obstacle Three To Dating After Divorce
Imagine that you ask the girl from the coffee shop out on a date. She says yes. Elation sets in. Now imagine you ask the girl from the coffee shop out on a date. She says no. Are you blaming her for everything that’s wrong in your world? Is she a continuation of your ex? Are you going to go ask out the next woman that has a pulse just to get back at both of them? Have you anchored your self-worth to the responses of either of these women and now it’s somewhere at the bottom of the ocean where they tossed you overboard with a simple ‘no’? If you answered no to all of those questions, congratulations. You, my friend, are officially ready to date after divorce.
What passing the final gauntlet means: You’re able to distinguish between heartbreak and a standard rejection. While both are a part of life, they can exist independently of one another and a turn-down on a date is just that, a no. A no, when handled from a well-adjusted place, can propel you forward to the next potential yes with a new and better prospect.
What wiping out means: While dating can be serious business, it’s okay to break character. Laugh, start over. If Debbie Downer can do it, so can you. And when all else fails, try again next week.
Nervous? Take heart, and leave yourself an out. Leave enough room for the magic to happen. Dinner. A drink or two. And a gracious exit. Better to leave her wanting more time with you, and a second date, than unceremoniously making the blooper reel on the first.
Dating after divorce can feel like an obstacle course, especially if you don’t know you’re ready. But take heart, as dating life may be your new normal. After you’ve run the gauntlet once or twice, the more confidence you’ll have in the process and the more fun you’ll have. Before you know it, you’ll actually get the hang of it.
Do any of these obstacles sound familiar? Got some more? Let us know in the comments below.
If you like this article, please share on your social media.
(c) Can Stock Photo / akiyoko
Oh, life! Why does it always have to be so complicated? Here you are going through a painful divorce, and somehow, you've stumbled upon someone that you've quickly fallen head over heels for. Regardless of why, here you are. So, now what? Do you wait until the divorce closes out…
With so many online dating websites and apps, trying to find a date can start to feel a little overwhelming, especially if you’re hot off a divorce. Meeting someone in real life (IRL) can be refreshing and much more meaningful. The best thing you can do is try to get…
When you write a book, what do they tell you? Consider your audience, no? When you write a speech, what do you they tell you? Consider your audience, no? Well, dating is no different, friends. For conversation’s sake, let’s assume you were married for at least two years, engaged for one year…
At this point in our series, hopefully, you’ve gotten some cookbooks and started diving into the world of cooking. Maybe you even tried my spaghetti recipe, and hopefully didn’t burn down your house or send a dinner date screaming into the night.
Cooking Up Some Inspiration
If you’re looking for inspiration, my favorite food blog is the infrequently-updated Smitten Kitchen. Blogger Deb Perelman is witty and knowledgeable, her dishes kick massive amounts of ass, and her instructions are clear and well-illustrated with great photography. I’m also a big fan of Homesick Texan, as a perpetually homesick Texan myself. Their recipes are tasty and guaranteed to appeal to any dude.
With that in mind, I’m going to leave you with instructions on how to make a full Texas-style homecooked dinner out of easily-purchased items without breaking your budget. It’s not a low-calorie meal by any means, but it is incredibly awesome and tasty.
Chili con carne (chili with meat)
A note, here: authentic Texas chili has no beans. Let me repeat that: all Texas chili is, by definition, chili con carne. This is my family’s chili recipe, which goes back at least a century; it’s flavorful but not too hot, and it’s great served in a bowl or on top of enchiladas or even hot dogs.
You’ll also notice that the ingredients are very similar to those of my spaghetti bolognese. If so, good eye! Most Western foods are really based on the same basic ingredients, and the variations usually lie in the spices or preparation.
- 1 20 oz can crushed tomatoes
- Three pounds ground or minced beef
- 2 white onions, chopped rougly
- 1 red pepper, chopped roughly
- Chili powder (mild)
- White vinegar
- Grated cheese and sour cream (garnish, optional)
This is super easy, super cheap, and super-awesome, and this is my mom’s recipe, so I can tell you with authority that this is, in fact, the bomb.
- Two boxes, Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
- 2 eggs
- 2/3rd cup whole milk
- 1 small can green chiles
- 2 lbs. grated cheddar, Monterey jack or “fiesta blend” cheese
- Salt, pepper
Collard Greens and Black-Eyed Peas
Two Southern classics, cooked together for a one-two punch of gastronomic wizardry. Your momma would approve.
- 1 bunch chopped fresh collard greens
- 2 cans black eyed peas
- 3 cups prepared beef stock
- 1/3 cup flour
- 1/3 cup butter
- 1 ham hock
- Salt, pepper
We’re gonna start with the greens ‘n’ peas first, as they can just simmer while we make everything else. First, if you’ve got concentrated beef stock rather than the liquid kind, you’re going to reconstitute it. (If you’ve got liquid, skip this step.) Put three cups of water in a bowl in your microwave and heat it for three minutes. Take it out — it’ll be really hot, so be careful — and drop your stock into it — generally, the rule of thumb is one small block or tablespoon of stock per cup. Use a whisk to stir it until the stock is all mixed in. Set it aside.
Next, chop your collard greens up into bite-size bits and open your cans of black-eyed peas. Next, take a medium-sized saucepot or soup pot and heat it to medium. We’re going to make a simple roux, which is the basis of a lot of European and American-style cooking.
Drop your butter into the heated pan and let it melt without burning. When it’s melted, pour your flour into it and use a whisk to mix it all together. The flour and butter will combine to make a sort of pale paste. Make sure you stir away any clumps of flour. You want this stuff to turn brown without burning it, so you’re going to keep stirring it as it browns. Don’t walk away from it, or you’ll mess it up.
When your roux is about the color of peanut butter, pour your beef stock in and mix the roux into it thoroughly. Drop your collard greens, black-eyed peas and ham hock in. Reduce heat down to simmer and cover your pot with a lid. You’ll add salt and pepper at the end.
Now it’s time to get our chili cookin’. Heat a large cooking pot to medium heat on another burner and, once it’s hot, throw in your ground beef, onions and red pepper. Use the fat of the meat to sauté the onions and pepper. When it starts to turn brown, throw in some cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper. The key ingredient in chili is not the chili powder, but the cumin, and that’s what you want to focus on: make it flavorful without making it abrasive.
Once the meat’s fairly brown and the onions and pepper chunks are soft and sauteéd, throw in your crushed tomatoes and add more cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper, to taste. (It’s hard to tell you exactly how much to use, because your mileage may vary; when it tastes amazing, you’re where you need to be.) Again, reduce the heat and cover it with a pot and set it to simmer.
At this point, you can go sit on the porch and drink some iced tea and chill for a bit; both your greens ‘n’ peas and your chili could simmer all damn day and it would only make them more awesome. But we want to time our cornbread so it’s ready right when everything else is.
When you’re about twenty minutes out from when you want to serve dinner, start making the cornbread. Preheat your oven to 400º F, and while it’s heating, grab a mixing bowl and mix the two Jiffy packages with the eggs and milk until you’ve got a smooth batter. Take about half the cheese and the chilis and mix them into this batter.
Grab a 9×9 baking pan and grease it with butter or olive oil. (Pam and other non-stick sprays are a tool of the Devil.) Pour half your batter into the pan. Take half of the cheese that’s still remaining and spread it evenly across this batter, to make a cheese layer. Pour the rest of the batter in and top it off with the rest of your cheese. Place the pan into the oven.
Fifteen minutes later, turn off your collard greens and chili. Open the greens and taste the broth, which should be thick and brown and murky. Add salt and pepper as necessary to the broth. Do the same to your chili. Let them cool for a couple of minutes.
Check your cornbread at about eighteen minutes. If it’s done — the cheese on top is browned and the batter has become golden and brown at the edges — take it out and let it cool on your stovetop.
Serving In Style
Grab a bowl and a plate for each dinner guest. Put the chili in the bowl and a helping of greens ‘n’ peas on the side. Cut your cornbread into squares and serve it in a wicker basket lined with a clean towel or paper napkin, or on a serving plate. If you’ve got the grated cheese and sour cream for garnish, serve them on the side as well in small bowls with spoons so your guests can help themselves. Serve with Southern-style iced tea, light beer, red wine or orange Nehi soda, and some Stevie Ray Vaughan playing on the sound system. I recommend the album The Sky Is Crying, but your mileage may vary.
See? You’ve totally got this cooking thing. I’d love to hear about your recipes and tips for fellow journeyman along the epicurean highway. Bon chance and bon appetit!
(c) Can Stock Photo / tvirbickis
In part one of this series, I gave you a list of what you needed to have a functioning kitchen. In part two, I gave you a shopping list of stuff you should always have on hand in your fridge and pantry. And now, in part three, I'm going to…
In our last installment, I talked about the tools you needed in your kitchen to get started cooking. In this article, I’m gonna talk about food, and how to shop for it. No matter what meal I happen to be preparing on a given day, there’s a list of stuff…
Let’s face it, cooking for one can seem like too much effort. Rather than man meals , most recipes are intended for family servings. The prep, cook time and clean up involved, not including stopping by the grocery store for whatever ingredients you don’t have on hand, is not happening…
So, you’re ready to jump back into the dating pool but what exactly do women want from divorced men? Well, a lot. The good news is that women want the same things from all men but as a divorced guy, you’ve got an advantage over the bachelors out there: you’ve been practicing what women want for years.
Although it may seem like signing your divorce papers is the same as signing away your love life, it doesn’t have to be. Some guys think that being divorced is the kiss of death when it comes to romance and relationships but it’s not. It may have been in the past but, luckily for you, times are changing. Divorce is increasingly more common, and women aren’t scared off by it anymore.
Women want commitment.
Maybe it’s a biological thing, or maybe it’s just the way women operate, but we want commitment. What women want to know is that the man we commit to is willing to dedicate himself to us as well. And what shows more commitment than marriage? Okay, your first marriage didn’t last, but the important thing is that you were willing to give it a try. You weren’t afraid to tie yourself to one woman for the rest of your life.
That’s the kind of commitment that women are looking for. I’m not saying you should propose to every woman you date, but just know that you have something she’s looking for. You, much more than your bachelor friends, can offer commitment and be believed. Something to remember: not every woman is looking for marriage, but most are looking for commitment. You can be a great partner without having to remarry.
Women want to be left alone.
Paradoxically, once women have your commitment, we want to be left alone. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t want you to abandon us, but it’s critical that we get our alone time. Maybe that’s time with friends, or maybe it’s truly being alone, but every woman needs a break sometimes. As a divorced guy, you’ve got those breaks built into your schedule already.
You have other commitments outside of your new relationship. You have a family to care for, and during your divorce, you’ve probably built your social life outside of that family. As a divorced guy, you’re in a perfect position. You can spend time with a woman without falling into the trap of hanging on too tightly.
Women want a man, not a God.
Some guys think that no woman will ever date a divorced guy. After all, he clearly has bad judgment and makes major mistakes. That is flat out wrong. Making mistakes is what makes us human, and women want to date humans. Probably the most disastrous thing a guy can do on a date is act like the greatest man in the world. Nobody wants to date someone with a God complex. Confidence may be sexy, but arrogance is anything but.
Women want someone who’s brave.
Admitting that you’ve made a mistake takes an enormous amount of courage. As you know, divorce is not for the faint-hearted. This is another huge advantage you have over the other guys on the field.
Before she’s even met you, a woman who knows you’re divorced knows that you are courageous and don’t shy away from a challenge. She knows that if you end up in a serious relationship, you will be ready for whatever obstacles come your way. It may seem trivial to you, but that piece of mind is priceless to women.
Women want a grown up.
Read any women’s magazine, and you’ll see discussions about men vs. boys. Women want to date men. As a divorced guy, you’re exactly what she wants. A man who has dated someone, proposed to her, married her, and potentially had a family with her is a grown up. That’s the kind of guy that every woman out there is looking for. Grown women have enough going on in their lives without having to look after their boyfriend like he’s a small child.
Women (may or may not) want kids.
Not all women want to have their own kids. If you have children and don’t want anymore, you may be the perfect man for her. Especially if your children are older, or if you have shared custody, there are huge benefits to her forming a relationship with you over anybody else.
Many men want children and women who don’t find it hard to date while being honest about their desires. If a woman dated you, both of you could be honest and get what you wanted.
On the other hand, some women do want kids. A woman may have missed her opportunity to have children but still craves a family and wants to take on a maternal role. Of course, she can’t (and shouldn’t) barge into your family and attempt to replace your kids’ mother but over time, she can get the family she wants through a relationship with a divorced guy. She couldn’t get that with a lifelong bachelor.
What women want the most.
You! It is that simple: women want you. You might think you have nothing to offer as a divorced guy, but you have everything women are looking for. The only thing you might be missing is confidence.
It’s easy for everybody else to see that you’re a catch but you may be struggling to believe it yourself. The problem is that confidence is a big piece of the puzzle. How are you going to build it up? As goofy as it sounds, it’s worth writing down a list of your positive traits. It’s not as hard as you’ll make it out to be. Try asking a trusted friend or family member for a little help if you need it. Review the list daily until you start to believe it.
It’s a little scary, but the best way to build up your dating confidence is just to go on dates. Try to remember that you have exactly what a lot of women want. You are a catch and deserve to have a little fun finding your next relationship. Don’t worry about having a few bad dates – everybody does. Instead, focus on getting out there and see what happens.
Are you surprised by what women want? Let loose in the comments below.
Got a divorced friend who is reluctant to start dating?
Share this article on your social media.
(c) Can Stock Photo / photography33
If you’re feeling sick and tired after your divorce, you’re not alone. Divorce can have an effect on your mind and body, crippling your health in several ways. There’s no way to know exactly how a divorce will take its toll on you, but if you’re experiencing any of the issues in this article, it’s time to get your health back in check. Take a look at eight surprising ways divorce can affect your health, and what to do about it.
Depression and Anxiety Disorders
Divorce is not an easy process for anyone. Even if you know the separation is for the best, you’re still losing someone that you used to rely on and share a life with. Anxiety can skyrocket due to worries over finances, insecurity, finding a new life partner, getting back into the dating game, separation from your kids, and so on.
In more serious cases, anxiety can snowball into depression. Since the stress of a divorce is next in line to that of a death, deep feelings of sadness, loneliness, and worthlessness can set in. And if you blame yourself for the end of your marriage, it can take a toll on your mental health. Anxiety and depression are health risks in themselves, however, they can both lead to other serious health problems like respiratory disorders, heart attacks, and strokes.
If you’re tossing and turning throughout the night, unable to get to sleep, it could be because of your divorce. Insomnia is a common result of anxiety and depression, which can surface at the end of a marriage. If you’re waking up feeling sick and tired, and it’s interfering with your everyday life, then insomnia is a cause for concern.
Insomnia can affect your performance at work, your concentration while driving, your memory, your ability to do simple tasks, and so much more. If sleepless nights are resulting in exhausting days, it’s time to get your healthy sleep habits back on track. To curb insomnia, try exercising and meditation, and make sure you cut caffeine from your afternoons. If the issue persists, seek out a physician or sleep expert who can help you get back into a healthy sleep routine.
A 2015 Harvard University study found that divorce is linked to a higher risk of a heart attack. For men specifically, the danger of suffering a heart attack rose by 30% for those who were divorced at least twice. It’s not surprising when you think about the financial and emotional strain a divorce can have, especially if it’s the end of your second or third marriage. On top of that, if the stress is leading to sleeplessness, unhealthy eating and exercise habits, or substance abuse, the risk for heart problems and disease rises significantly.
The good news is, the study also found that if men remarried, the heightened risk disappeared. Time to get back into the dating game!
When you go through a high-stress situation like a divorce, your eating habits are more likely to be thrown out of whack. This could mean overeating in an attempt to temporarily satisfy yourself, or not eating due to a loss of appetite brought on by distress. a concern because they can lead to more serious health issues.
Being overweight can result in problems like Type-2 diabetes, strokes, sleep apnea, kidney disease, and high blood pressure while being underweight can lead to a weakened immune system, low muscle mass, hair loss, anemia and more. After a divorce, healthy eating habits and fitness are Exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy diet can boost your mood, energy, and self-confidence through the roof.
Have you noticed worsened digestive issues, heartburn and irritable bowels since your divorce? These stomach problems are typical of someone who is experiencing acute or chronic stress. Your gut is sensitive to stress and stress can take a real, physical toll on your digestive system, causing discomfort throughout the day and night.
Stress can lead to spasms in your esophagus, increased acid in your stomach, and a reaction in your colon that can lead to constipation or diarrhea. When you understand how and why stress leads to negative physical results on your system, decreasing distress should be your top priority. You can do this through exercise, therapy, a healthy diet and lifestyle, and reducing caffeine and alcohol. Stress is often unavoidable, but there are steps you can take to limit its effects on your body.
Metabolic syndrome is composed of a group of risk factors including high blood pressure, unhealthy cholesterol levels, high blood sugar, and abdominal fat. These issues are dangerous in themselves, but together, they’re a recipe for disaster. They increase the risk of heart attacks, stroke, and diabetes.
Metabolic syndrome can be brought on by things like depression, obesity, and an unhealthy lifestyle, which are all symptoms of divorce. If you notice you have a combination of at least three of the above risk factors, it means you have metabolic syndrome.
Lifestyle changes are the best way to rid yourself of this health condition. All of these risk factors can be decreased with a healthy diet, exercise, and quitting bad habits like smoking. Although a divorce may have you feeling down in the dumps and turning to unhealthy habits, the best way to get out of your slump is to rejig your lifestyle and get your health back on track.
Sometimes, in high-stress situations, people turn to drinking, smoking and even drugs. Substance abuse can affect your quality of life and health in a multitude of ways, and if not dealt with quickly, can be disastrous down the road, especially if you have children.
Substance abuse is used to cope with feelings of loneliness, anxiety, blame and worthlessness that are often brought on by divorce. And substance abuse can lead to major problems ranging from heart and lung disease to organ damage to mood swings and depression. If you’re turning to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol post-split, think about the lasting damage it can have on you and those around you.
Increasingly Sick and Tired
Considering all of the above, it’s clear to see how divorce can make you feel increasingly sick and tired. Poor sleep and eating habits can result in a lack of energy and motivation, a weakened immune system. If you’re always feeling like crap, it can affect your job, your social life, your relationships, and your lifestyle in general.
Whichever health issue(s) you’re facing, it’s time to take your health back into your hands and make sure it’s your top priority. If you went through a divorce and you’re experiencing one or more of these health issues, your split is likely to be the culprit. Divorce sucks, there’s no way around it, but there’s nothing better than proving how happy and healthy you are post-split.
What’s the biggest health issue you’re facing because of your divorce, and what are you doing to overcome it? Sound off in the comments below.
Help out the next guy.
Share this article on your social media.
(c) Can Stock Photo / creatista
Well, it’s finally over, the divorce I mean. But, way can’t you rest? What the heck is going on? You keep re-hashing the old tapes of the relationship in your head. And, a single thought can trigger your emotions to go back to those God forsaken times in your relationship…
There comes a day when newly single men find themselves back on the dating scene after wading through the complications of divorce. They can't help but wonder how this detail of the past will influence future relationships; if it's a black mark that will be a deal breaker down the…
If you don’t think you need to find a therapist after your divorce, you may want to reconsider. Dealing with a divorce is tough if you try to do it on your own, and although your friends and family members may mean well, they likely aren’t equipped with the right…