Social Media

What NOT to post on Social Media during your divorce

Right off the bat you need to understand my stand on social media: I ain’t a big fan. OMG! I absolutely cannot take one more post, tweet or text about bffs or bfs. I will throw my phone out the car window if you dare share another pic to show us how much your precious widdle bulldog’s bowel movement looks like a butterfly. Seriously?!? This is the highest point that supposedly evolved human beings have reached in the 21st century? I’m old; our version of a selfie was sitting on the copier at the office Christmas party, drunkenly scanning your butt which might get it caught in a sling if the boss found out. At least any future grandkids won’t be able to Google grandma’s butt. You’re laughing, right?

People. people, people….

We aren’t civilized.  Facebook is not your friend. Twitter will turn on you. Text messages have sent people to prison. And Instagram is the match that lights the fire that boils the hot water that you’ll find yourself in if you’ve posted anything that can be used by your wife’s divorce attorney. You might be too drunk to recall that lost weekend in Cabo with your old college pals; too wasted to remember sucking face with that cute little spring break co-ed. (Thank goodness you deleted the evidence before returning home.) But guess who’s little friends caught the whole thing on video and tagged you. Stupid is captured forever!! An angry, suspicious, vindictive wife can troll your name like search engine shark bait. Wanna bet she can hack all your social media accounts?

Seriously, how much future concern is given before any of us launch ourselves into cyberspace? Cute pet pictures are one thing. Launching a catty, bratty digital tirade against someone is no different that running naked down the street screaming at no one: you look like an idiot. It doesn’t gain any sympathy. What it gets you is a straitjacket! And any hacking activity is illegal.

Unfortunately, not too long ago, I witnessed first-hand the marital meltdown of someone near and dear to me in just this manner. The speed and viciousness with which it very publicly played out on Facebook was stomach churning. It looked something like this:

Happy pictures posted when we’d all celebrated their anniversary just prior to business taking the husband out of town on a three day trip. At the departure gate he called to ask if I’d check in on his wife as she’d been ill the previous week. Maybe it was her medication maybe loneliness or plain old insecurity but something drove her to hack all of his on-line accounts that night. An internet journalist of some standing, he probably has more contacts, fans and followers than I have gray hairs. Within a few minutes she aired their dirty laundry on a global line. We all knew she’d gone home to mama before he did. It was pitiful and unsettling. What if they’d had children old enough to find it?

Is something like that what you’d want your friends and family, business associates, faculty or customers to see?

After 20- plus years, my husband is more apt to share his feelings with me in a text message rather than talking face to face but man, oh, man, let me post a picture of him making a silly face and all hell breaks loose. A marriage is an intimate, sacred place never intended for the enormity of cyberspace. The same can be said for a separation or divorce. Do everybody a favor and count to twenty before revealing TMI….

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