Ok guys, I get it. You’re clueless. You’re just getting out of a long term relationship or divorce after many, many years, and you’re back to square one when it comes to the dating scene. What should you expect from women in different age groups? How does dating through the decades differ?

You’re out of touch and out of sync with the dating world.

Relax.  Drawn from a half-century of cumulative experience, we’ve got some insights and ‘pearls of wisdom’ to share with you as it relates to dating women of all ages.

You see, there are dynamics playing on women that don’t play on us guys. That’s why you need the scoop on dating through the decades. Women have to be much more cognizant, careful and aware of their surroundings and their relative position in their biological life than we guys.

Internet Dating Is Here to Stay

In today’s modern dating world things have changed dramatically. The dating scene has changed. For us old farts, there never was an internet dating world before. Hell, there was no internet when I was dating back in the 70’s. This new internet dating thing is different. Hook ups from the likes of Tinder and other internet apps is uncharted territory. Who knew?

Women Have An Eye Out for Trouble

There’s a ton of dating apps out there, and the majority of them have similar features and mechanics. All of this is covered by other online dating articles on Guyvorce, but know this: We guys get on those sites, some with honorable intentions, and many – too many – with felonious intent. Women know it, and are aware and ever watchful for the scammers and users who hunt the dating sites looking for a quick pick-up or score.

An Amazing Abundance of Women

Keep in mind, when many of us hit the internet dating sites we’re like ‘kids in the candy store’ We have a plethora of women’s pictures, profiles, likes, and dislikes available for us to sample. We read. We scroll. We devour all their photos until the wee hours of the morning, spending endless hours trying to find a match for us, looking for the ladies we’d like to message and try to connect with. That’s cool.

But, if you get results anything like mine (let’s just say my rate of return is not impressive) you’ll soon realize how lonely and deeply rejected you can feel, or at best, ignored.

It’s a Numbers Game

Just realize, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of guys chasing the same women you are. Your sincere email will get lost in the sea of other emails received by the more desirable ladies out there. These ladies are being bombarded every day with more messages than they can answer, and they don’t have the time or inclination to respond to every guy who tries to connect.

How to Get Rejected

Some women will pass you by on pure disinterest. Some on pure mismatch. Some will skip over you because your photo doesn’t’ show a full head of hair, or you’re wearing a hat, or sunglasses, or (you’ll love this one) you’re not within their desired age range (like you can even get that when you meet someone at the grocery store or corner bar). One gal might want guys younger than her own age (you’ve gotta love the cougars out there), another wants men who are a few years her senior.

Improve your odds of a favorable response by getting to know the characteristics of women of all ages.

Successfully Dating Through the Decades

So, let’s look at the dynamics at play for women during their adult lives, at least the dynamics as seen from an older man’s perspective.

Dating Women in Their 20’s

Raging hormones aside, newly adult women are emerging onto the dating scene having survived their teens, hopefully fairly well unscathed. They’re either working a first or second job out of high school or just out of college and embarking on their early professional careers. These women are just starting to discover themselves, their wants, their desires, their likes, dislikes, and also now starting to discover and experiment with their own sexuality.

Still aware that their reputation is an integral concern, not wanting to be seen or rumored to be too ‘easy’, they are more reluctant to engage casually and more careful in their approach to dating. Their hormones levels are changing, fertility and pregnancy are real threats and an ongoing concern. So, their sexual freedom is suppressed. Dating Maxim:Approach gently, please!’      

Hitting Their Stride in Their 30’s

Wow, they made it thorough their 20’s, some married, some with kids, others with kids but not married and some still looking for Mr. Right for the first time. Obviously, from a dating perspective, our interest is geared toward woman in this age group available for dating, those who never married, either with or without kids, and those who may have married early and are divorced. Their careers are in full development mode.

Single With No Kids

For the women without kids, their biological clocks are ticking. And frankly, for some, time is running out. Finding Mr. Right is becoming urgent. Dating is now in full swing and it’s a life priority. Selecting Mr. Perfect might slip into finding ‘someone less than perfect but perfect for me’ (this is a common theme that will survive and become stronger through their later decades).

These women are not to be approached with reckless abandon, but with sensitivity and great care. They are seeking out their life mate and their future children’s Daddy. Dating Maxim: ‘Approach with Extreme Caution’.

Single Moms

Women who have had their little ones are less inclined to be biologically driven to mate, but they still want love and companionship, preferably for life. The need to be desired and cared for arises in all of us and they are no exception.

So, dating is still a priority, as the fear of being alone is real. For these women, their sexuality and their sexual freedom is peaking, but they are still mindful that pregnancy is possible and protection from unwanted pregnancy is essential. Consequently, while their sexuality and sexual freedom may be in full bloom, it’s still somewhat suppressed. Dating Maxim: ‘Approach in Life Partner Mode’.

Ladies in Their 40’s

Now we’re getting somewhere. It’s likely these ladies have had their kids, are working and their career ambitions and career trajectories are set. Changing jobs, changing careers and changing physical living location away from their local community is out of the cards for most. Their kids, if still at home, are in the later stages of middle school or in high school. Uprooting kids at this stage of their life is unwanted and undesirable.

In this age group women know who they are. They know what they want. And, they know what they don’t want. They are still ovulating so they are still somewhat restrained in their approach to getting down with guys. Caution is the name of the game while they play the field to find that next guy in their life, hopefully the man who will be their ‘last first kiss’.

If you’re a traveling man like me, steer clear of these ladies, unless you have no serious intentions (scoundrel you) or unless you’re ready to give up or change your professional life dramatically. Dating Maxim: ‘Steer Clear’.

For the rest of you who are ‘steady Eddies’, working a steady job and living a lifestyle that has you home on nights and weekends, these gals may be right up your alley. Dating Maxim: ‘Date at Will’.

The 50’s and Beyond

Women on the dating scene who have reached their 50’s and beyond have ‘made it’. They have made it through the hard part of life and are fully ready to engage the dating scene. If they are mothers, the kids are likely at the end stages of high school or they’re away at college. If they never had kids, they are free to date and find a man that meets their needs.

Sexually Free and Ready for Fun

For both the childless and the empty nesters, they are free to enjoy the dating scene without the dreaded fear of pregnancy as menopause has likely already paid them a visit and removed that concern. They are sexually free, much more uninhibited (no little ears hanging around the house to listen in, among other things) and they’re ready to have fun and engage.

Dating is now seen as a means to an end for them, and they’re not leaving this party. Finding a final life partner is of critical importance. Dating Maxim: ‘Damn the Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead’.

Up Your Dating Game

Knowledge is power, and now you have the power to up your dating game. It’s easy to see that there are delights to be found in woman of every age. Take advantage of my experiences to understand what women are after at different points in their lives, and you, my friend, can enjoy dating through the decades.

Have you dated women in different age groups? Share your observations in the comments below.


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(c) Can Stock Photo / bds

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