You’ve just made it through a divorce.  Now it’s time to save yourself.  Even if it was an amicable split, it is still a life-changing event and takes its emotional toll.  Even more so if the end of the relationship closely resembled a flaming train wreck or the end of a hostage standoff.  Odds are you came staggering out of the dust and debris feeling haggard and that much worse for the wear.

Getting Back on Your Feet

You may have looked around waiting for some form of disaster relief to appear and patch you back together.  You’re ready for a M.A.S.H. nurse to bind your wounds and hold your hand. If life is still happening and you have no time to slowly convalesce you may wish that someone would just swoop in and save the day.  You may wish that someone would step in and make everything that feels wrong in your life feel right. Guess what?  Someone can.  Guess what else?  That someone is you. Yes, you have the power to save yourself. 

Stand Up. As in, on your own two feet. Gain confidence in your own two legs again.  Odds are they’ve been knocked out from underneath you.  Learn to stand up straight and regain your composure.  What does that mean?  Go out as a single guy until being single feels good again.  Go out as a single guy until you realize your own worth again. So what if your marriage ended in a flaming train wreck?  It’s over.  It’s the past.  And just because that didn’t work out doesn’t mean nothing else ever will again.  You’ve learned.  You’ve grown, and you’re older and wiser for it.  You’re only a failure if you quit and you’re no quitter.  You’re a single guy who is single by choice.  That may not have been the case yesterday, but it is today.  Why?  Because it’s your life and you’ve decided that to be the case.   

Flex Your Emotional Muscles

You are a strong single man because you want to be, not because you have to be.   When you can stand up, strong and steadfast in your own space, you will notice your life begin to change.  You will get to be choosy.  You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  When you can stand up, on your own two feet and not feel the need to lean on someone just to make it another step you’ll start to look at your life positively.  You’ll feel the freedom of choice where the feelings of need or desperation once stood.   

Start small.  Accomplish little feats like sleeping on the other, other side of the bed.  Get comfortable there; it’s your bed after all.  You call the shots now.  And when you’re ready to kick some ass, graduate to the full starfish, arms and legs fully splayed.  Go ahead and roll around.  Laugh.  We’re throwing caution to the wind here.  Enjoy it.     

Choose Your Super Power

Now that you have your strength back and you’ve learned to stand on your own and enjoy it, you get to choose your superpower.  Are you a cape-wearing avenger with full flight capabilities?  Do you have a secret decoder ring and the ability to teleport with a nod of your head?  Do you have a freeze-ray gun and can leap tall buildings in a single bound?   Be deliberate in your choice.  What does that mean?  Be aware of your talents and do your best to develop them.   Figure out a way to use your powers for good and not for evil.  Use your special combination of talents and skills to make a positive difference in someone’s day, in your community or the world.  You know how to save yourself. Who or what else needs to be saved?  Who is your villain?  What are you up against?  What needs to be done to triumph?  How will you use your superpower to make that happen?  To let another day pass without developing and using your superpowers is like committing a crime against humanity. We need you.  Today   No pressure, mind you, just get busy.   

Clothes Make The Man – Or Superman

Now that you’ve chosen your superpower, you must choose your outfit accordingly.  Laugh if you want to, but look at history.  All superpower wielding heroes have outfits that are equal parts functional, flexible, figure flattering with just enough badass to get the job done.  What does that mean?  It means when the alarm sounds you must be prepared, in this case suitably dressed, to employ the use of your chosen superpower.  It means you must keep this outfit at the ready, typically in a very cool, well-displayed, museum-quality casing with melodramatic lighting.  Accessories must be equally accessible.  But do whatever works for you.  You’ll want to look your best when the paparazzi captures you.  It is against superhero code to appear on the front page of the local paper looking unsightly.

Save Yourself  for A Bright Future 

Go forth young man, and be heroically single.  Stand strong on your own two legs. Develop your unique combination of super powers.  Select that outfit that best suits you and allows you to shine.  Now go save the world in your own special way.  Welcome back.  We need you.


(c) Can Stock Photo / ryanking999