After a divorce, you have two options: Let it define you and pity yourself for a failed relationship, or reinvent yourself and thrive. Reinventing yourself isn’t always an easy task, and it’s normal to feel lost , and have low self-esteem after your divorce. But with the right mindset and support, you’ll be able to see your divorce as an opportunity to learn and grow and transform into the person you’ve always wanted to be.   

If you’re looking to thrive after your divorce, check out eight ways to reinvent yourself post break up.  

1.Learn to Be Happy Alone

When you’re in a relationship, and especially when you’re married, you get used to being half of a whole. A lot of the time, other people define you by your relationship, which results in you defining yourself by your relationship. That’s why many men feel a loss of identity when their marriage comes to an end. They’re either scared to be alone or don’t know how to be alone, but being happy when you’re alone is key if you want to reinvent yourself.

Until you’re truly happy on your own, you won’t be able to move on and be truly happy with someone else. Go out to eat at restaurants on your own, go to movies by yourself, go on walks, cook new recipes, read, and just learn to enjoy your own company. You never know what you may find out about yourself.

2. Try New Activities

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the chance? Maybe join a hockey team or try your hand at golf ? Have you always wanted to learn how to play an instrument or fly a plane, or start gardening or go hiking? Now is the time to try out any activity/hobby you want. This is an essential step to reinventing yourself after divorce.

While women are much more likely to be involved in activities when they’re married, men may find they don’t have a lot to do post-divorce. Trying out new activities can help you find what you’re passionate about and can fill your downtime with interests that will help your growth and development. You may also find joy and purpose somewhere you never have before, which can help in the  process of reinventing yourself.

3. Update Your Look

Whether it’s a new haircut, new clothes, or both, updating your look is a good way to say good bye to the old and hello to the new. You don’t have to completely change your style (unless, of course, you want to), but investing in quality clothing that makes you feel great is one of the most powerful things you can do to reinvent yourself. A new haircut can also make you feel like a new man. Is there a cut you always wanted to try, but your wife didn’t like it? Or maybe you didn’t have the guts? Try it now and see how transformative it can be.

4. Set Personal Goals

The best time to set goals is when you experience a change in your life, and divorce is one of the biggest life-altering experiences you can go through. Take this as an opportunity to sit down, reflect on what goals you have reached and what you still want to conquer! These can range from fitness goals to finance goals, health and/or personal goals, plus anything else you can think of.

Setting goals gives you something to work toward and look forward to. These goals can help to shape who you become post-divorce. Your goals may change as you do, but envisioning and planning out your life can be incredibly powerful, especially in times where things seem foggy and unsure.   Take some time to think about what you want in life, your plan for achieving it and what you’re willing to do to make your goals a reality.   

5. Take a Class

There’s never a downside to learning as much as you possibly can. Whether it’s a cooking class, an academic class, Spanish class, music class, or whatever you’re into, enrolling in a class can help you reinvent yourself into the man you want to be. Taking a class can help stimulate your brain and put your mind to good use. It also puts you in an atmosphere where there could be other singles for when you’re ready to jump back into the dating game. 

6. Think About the Past

Who were you before your marriage? Whether it has been five years or 20 that you were with your spouse, you were probably at least a slightly different person before getting together. There may have been things you enjoyed   doing that you stopped doing when you were with your partner. Maybe you loved to go out to eat, but she always wanted to stay in to cook instead. Maybe you loved to read before bed, but she couldn’t fall asleep without the TV on.     

Think back to the things you loved to do that you sacrificed in your marriage. It could be big or small, but if it was something that made you happy, work it into your life again. These things, no matter how small, will have a place in shaping you as you reinvent yourself.

7. Travel

Traveling the world can give you a whole new perspective on life and the world itself. From providing a distraction to helping you slow down to showing you that there’s always something more to move on to, traveling can be the ultimate cure to divorce and give you the push to reinvent yourself. Your mind will be stimulated, a nd you’ll come back rejuvenated.   

Go places you’ve always wanted to go, and places you never imagined yourself going. Each new place has the potential to help you uncover something new about yourself or re-spark something inside you. It also takes you away from the vicinity of your divorce and all the changes going on in your life. Travel will help you take your mind off the changes, and fill you with positive energy.

8. Rejig Your Social Circle

When you were married, you likely had many friends who were married couples. You probably hung out in twos and went on double dates. You can still hang out with your married friends as a single, but you might find it helpful to make new single friends. You’ll do and talk about different things than you would with your married friends, and you’ll be able to relate to them better.  You don’t need to cut your old friends out of your life, but making a point to meet new single friends can help you reinvent yourself.  

The Best Time to Reinvent Yourself After Divorce

When it comes to the reinventing process, everyone will go at their own pace, but the sooner you start, the better! Not only will it help you move on, but it will also help you grow into the person you’ve always wanted to become. Take as much time as you need to come to terms with your divorce and grieve the loss you feel, but don’t take too long before you get back on your feet.   

Reinventing yourself after divorce is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes, get back in touch with your old self, and find out new things about yourself you didn’t know before.

Are you in the process of reinventing yourself? Let us know some steps you’ve taken in the comments below.


This is a great time for a fresh start.

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(c) Can Stock Photo / deandrobot

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