If you don’t think you need to find a therapist after your divorce, you may want to reconsider. Dealing with a divorce is tough if you try to do it on your own, and although your friends and family members may mean well, they likely aren’t equipped with the right advice. Talking to a therapist will help you come to terms with your feelings and emotions, work through your biggest challenges, help you find ways to cope, and much more.

Confiding in a therapist isn’t a sign of weakness, it shows that you have enough self-awareness to realize that you’re going through a tough time, and you know you can come out of it on top. It’s a healthy way to deal with how you’re feeling after your divorce and can help you rebuild your life. One of the worst things you can do is dwell on your divorce and let it consume you. Here are seven good reasons to find a therapist after your divorce.

1.Your Friends May Not Know What to Say

Whenever we experience a traumatic life event, such as a divorce, we tend to turn to our friends for support. But if your friends have never been through a divorce, they may not know what to say, and likely won’t give you the best advice. Friends like to tell us what we want to hear, so if you’re blaming and bad mouthing your ex, they’ll likely go along with it, rather than telling you to take some responsibility and think another way.

A therapist, on the other hand, will challenge you to figure out why you’re feeling what you’re feeling, and they’ll know just what to say. They won’t always tell you what you want to hear, but they’ll tell you what you need to hear. Rather than putting all the blame on your ex, they’ll help you figure out in what ways you can take responsibility for what happened, and how knowing this can help you in future relationships.

2. Talking Helps

After a divorce, it’s helpful to talk about your feelings and problems with a supportive person. It’s dangerous to leave your feelings bottled up inside, and it feels good to be listened to by someone who’s not connected to you or your ex-spouse. It’s also helpful to talk to someone who cares and is listening attentively. A lot of people have very distracted conversations these days, but when you’re with your therapist, it’s just them and you, and nothing to divert or interrupt the conversation.

3. Therapists are Professionally Trained

Although your friends and family members may think they know how to talk to you about your divorce, they aren’t professionally trained on how to help you get to the root of the problem and overcome emotional challenges. Therapists know how to help you work through challenges and create positive changes in your life. They’ll provide you with an outside perspective to help you gain insight into your problems and figure out how you can come out stronger after your divorce.

4. It Provides a Stress Release

When you find a therapist who you connect with and trust, you can tell them anything. Working out your problems and figuring out why it is you’re feeling the way you are can provide a major stress release. Confiding in an experienced therapist about how your divorce is causing stress in your life can result in positive ways to cope with it. Stress from divorce can come in the form of financial stress, emotional stress, frustration, anger, or loss. Any form it comes in can have a detrimental effect on your work, relationships, and everyday life, so it’s important that you know how to deal with your stress in the right way.

5. It Helps You Rebuild Your Life

After a divorce, you may feel like your world is crumbling around you, but you don’t want to get stuck in that negative mindset. A therapist will help you rebuild your life in a positive and meaningful way. It will help you deal with your negative emotions so you can move on with your life and not dwell too much on the past. A good therapist will help you see your divorce as an opportunity to rebuild your life, rather than a reason to feel like your life is over. Without a therapist, it can be more difficult to come to this realization. It’s important to start rebuilding your life as soon as you can to move on, learn, and grow.

6. It Will Help Your Children

Divorce is going to be tough on children no matter what, but you can make it easier by keeping yourself healthy, knowing what to say, and acting appropriately. Your decisions, actions, and words will be seen and listened to by your kids, so you want to ensure you’re putting your best foot forward. A therapist can help you confront difficult conversations and know what to say when your kids ask you about the divorce. This will help create a healthy relationship between you and your children so you can all come to terms with the big life change.  

Many kids experience stress due to their parents’ divorce. Depending on their personality, age, and situation, every child will react differently. It’s important to know how to deal with each circumstance so that your kids come out of it stronger and feel supported throughout this difficult time.

7. Therapy Supports Your Mental Health

Unfortunately, the feelings and baggage that come along with a divorce can result in mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Mental health concerns are on the rise in America, and seeking help for psychological stressors is becoming more and more common. The status quo tells men they should never feel weak and should be solving their problems on their own, but getting help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you intelligent. You understand that in seeking help, you’ll come out as your best self and will be able to rebuild your life in a healthy mind frame.  

How to Find a Therapist

Choosing a therapist should take as much time as you need it to. Don’t rush the process, because they need to be someone you can trust and feel comfortable talking to. The two of you must have a good connection, so it may take some time and effort to find the right one. You’re going to have to talk about difficult subjects and secrets you may not have told anyone else before. You and your therapist are going to have a special bond, so it’s okay to take your time to find a therapist that’s right for you.

When meeting with different therapists, ask yourself these questions: Do they care about what you’re saying? Do you feel like they understand you? Do you feel comfortable talking to them and do you think you could unveil your secrets to them? Do you feel like you can be honest with them? Are they a good listener? Do you feel like they’re listening and offering advice without criticism and judgment?

If you went through a divorce, finding a therapist is one of the best things, you can do to get yourself back on track. Have you looked into getting a therapist after your divorce? What are some of the things holding you back if you haven’t?

(c) Can Stock Photo / michaeljung

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