There comes a day when newly single men find themselves back on the dating scene after wading through the complications of divorce. They can’t help but wonder how this detail of the past will influence future relationships; if it’s a black mark that will be a deal breaker down the road. Maybe you can relate?
With the divorce rate at just over 50%, you are most certainly not a rare minority. In fact, that past relationship (and its dissolution) likely taught you many things that play to your advantage. Here are the nine reasons newly single men are hotter, and why your love life may be sizzling.
The Hottest Single Men Have Worked On Themselves
A sizzling love life extends beyond wild and crazy one night stands and sowing wild oats. While hitting the town with your buddies might have been the antidote for a broken heart and significant life change initially, those shallow encounters eventually fizzle out. Single men who find themselves in an ongoing steamy scenario have done the most important thing first: worked on themselves.
One: Mental/Emotional Health:
Let’s face it, the rollercoaster of separation, then divorce, wreaks havoc on an individual’s emotional well-being. It doesn’t matter if you anticipated the divorce for a while or even spent months (or years) preparing for what you imagined was going to be the inevitable end. Nothing can fully prepare you for the reality of the situation. The emotions experienced will run the gamut…relief, anger, sadness, frustration, loneliness, anxiousness, resentment, bitterness. Honestly, name an emotion; it’s fair game and whatever is felt can shift from day to day (hour to hour, minute to minute). A newly single man may find himself in high demand when he’s worked through whatever emotional extremes were present and landed in a place of peace and acceptance.
Two: Physical Health:
Not only does a man who cares for his physical well-being tip the scales in attractiveness, but it’s also just good practice for life. Whether we want to admit it or not, what we eat and the amount of physical activity logged daily affects not only how we look but also how we feel (physically and emotionally). The amount of sleep registered each night can make or break the following day. And tending to medical needs (preventative and as issues arise) takes all question off the table about health and shows a sense of responsibility and initiative.
It would be a total lie to say that vanity doesn’t also play a role in the world of dating. Attraction often begins with appearance after-all, but beyond looks, a single man who takes care of his physical self sends an important message to society. This is a message of valuing life and a readiness to experience it full-throttle once again. What could be hotter than that?
Three: Spiritual Health:
Participation in a belief system that shapes morals and values and gives life meaning is an often overlooked area of importance. It’s an area where peace, quiet and calm is found. Belief in a power higher than yourself and possessing the ability to step out in faith shows a level of maturity that can set single men apart from one another.
Four: Work/Professional Health:
During difficult times, it’s easy to immerse in work as a means of distraction. Having good work/professional health means setting good boundaries at your job (i.e., not taking on more than is reasonable for your role and responsibilities) and maintaining a good life-work balance. Depleting all energy in the workplace can leave little left over for life outside the office walls. The most eligible bachelors have a job and a good work ethic but don’t leave the best of themselves at the office.
Five: Financial Health:
Understandably, the aftermath of a divorce can leave a guy pretty tapped in the financial arena. Financial health isn’t about having a sizable bank account or an endless flood of money coming in, but rather having a handle on finances in general. Having this handle shows a sense of responsibility and willingness to embrace your new life that looks different in many ways from what it was before. Both are undeniably attractive. Needing a little assistance getting started with addressing your financial health? The article After the Divorce: How to Secure Your Financial Future, by Dave Ramsey, is a quick read with loads of food for thought.
Six: Social Health: Social health includes a balance of both social interaction (time with friends, family and on the dating scene) and flying solo. In order to have the possibility of a sizzling love life, single men must be willing to put themselves in social situations. Balancing that with time spent alone suggests the social outings are a result of choice, not a need due to loneliness or fear of being alone.
The Hottest Single Men Know How To Build & Nurture a Relationship
Divorced men who are now single have the benefit of knowledge gleaned from previous experience. Knowing what works, what to avoid and having a curiosity to learn more and do better go a long ways with starting a relationship with potential for sizzle.
Sizzling relationships don’t happen overnight though. It takes time to build a connection that will take the relationship to the next level, and ongoing nurturing to keep things hot.
Single guys who have a talent for communicating and can carry on good conversation possess one of the most important skills for laying a good relationship foundation. They make eye contact and ask meaningful/thoughtful questions (versus firing off a series of questions just for the sake of asking, without real interest or relevance to the conversation). The conversation flows with equal give and take. They seek to learn more about and really know the person sitting in front of them and have a willingness to share themselves as well. This is precisely where true closeness and intimacy begins and can translate into fireworks down the road.
It seems obvious and that this shouldn’t have to be called out but the unfortunate truth is it’s not a trait every single guy possesses. Following through with what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it makes a man a real catch. And, if being a catch isn’t enough, the benefits of being dependable and reliable extend even further. Read more in the article 15 Maxims on Becoming a Reliable Man by Brett and Kate McKay on The Art of Manliness website.
Nine: Show Affection:
Showing someone you like and are interested in them is always a better plan than confusing game playing. At a certain age, adults on the dating scene don’t have the time or energy for games. Thoughtful actions which require little effort go a long ways. Want to know how single guys make girls swoon over him to their girlfriends? They send a text to say good-morning (or good-night). If they know she had a rough day at work, they might swing by her place with ice cream (without intention of being invited in). They send her an article or pod-cast that reminded them of her, or of time spent together. The possibilities are endless!
Divorce is not a predictor of successful, sizzling future relationships. After our teenage years, we pretty much expect those we encounter to have a history of some variety, both good and bad. If you are a newly single man and have found yourself in a sizzling scenario that has lasting potential, BRAVO!! If you haven’t, all hope isn’t lost. Consider the nine elements above, regroup, and launch again.