Are you a thrill seeker? Do you love a good challenge, one that gets your blood pumping and makes you feel alive? Perhaps you read my article Tall Enough to Ride and you saw yourself in the front car of every roller coaster. You’re the guy who loves the rush and as soon as the thrill is over, you want to queue up again. Even if you are more middle-car material, you still enjoy the thrill of the ride. Regardless of where you choose to sit, the ride is composed of the same elements, initial ascent, pause, drop and a series of twists and turns and gut wrenching drops before you safely disembark.
We’ve all heard life itself referred to as a roller coaster, as if we were strapped in with no choice of getting off until we croak. But what if you decided to change your perspective on that analogy? What if you chose to take your life on a roller coaster ride? No matter where you sat on your last ride, do you recall the moment when you were at the peak? Just before the earth gave way, do you remember what that felt like? Do you remember that change in altitude, the view that took your breath away, the sights you had not been able to see otherwise? Would you like to draw from the thrill? Would you like to set aside the nausea and fear and consider instead the sense of accomplishment you felt as the car pulled back into the bay. What if, by choosing to take your life on a ride, you were able to grab life by the balls?
You’ve just been through a divorce. One hell of a roller coaster ride no matter how you slice it. And you survived right? Maybe you didn’t see your divorce coming. Then again, maybe you initiated it. In any case, you survived it and living through that experience had an effect on you. You had a change in perspective, you see the world differently now. You can’t unsee that, but you can learn from it. And you can take what you learned and apply that to your next adventure. Are you ready to go again?
I don’t know you personally and I don’t have to in order to say, with a certain degree of accuracy, that your most recent adventure wasn’t on purpose. Regardless of whether or not you initiated your divorce, you didn’t set out to have your marriage crash and burn. You meant ‘til death do us part’ when you said it. But it didn’t work out that way and you made it out the other side. Your car pulled back in the bay and you’re a little windswept from the ride.
Now that you understand how resilient you can be for life events you didn’t plan, imagine your fortitude for life events you actually choose. What big adventure have you been putting off? What trip did you always want to take but couldn’t before? What business idea did you have that you no longer requires spousal approval? What dream has been on your mind that you can now put into action?
Know that whatever you plan on doing, when you decide to grab life by the balls, you now have a better idea what to expect. You will feel apprehensive. You will wonder if you’re doing the right thing. You will panic and likely wish you could abort the mission. You will feel that same sensation as you did when the rollercoaster reached it’s first crest; the air will change and you will be rewarded with a view you’ve never had the chance to admire before.
Maybe you’ll have more than a moment to admire the view. Maybe you could build a house there. A new business. A new life. When you grab life by the balls, you can choose these things. Yes, the ground may fall away from you at times. But you know you can handle it. There will be twists and turns, but you’ll survive that too.
Before you start throwing up your hands in protest, ask yourself this, “Why not now? you have no more excuses, or reasons not to. Every objection that you may be throwing in your own path is simply an obstacle to overcome, a challenge to supercede. None of which you can’t handle, given your track record. You can change everything. Because you can. You survived the rollercoaster last time. You’ll survive it again. Someday is now. Go ahead, get a nice firm grip and grab your life by the balls.