There are certain signs to look out for that could be grounds for divorce.
Whether you don’t see each other as often as you like because one of you is traveling for work, or you have a fight that goes on for longer than usual, rough patches are normal and can be resolved with work and over time.
Every marriage goes through rough patches. But do you know the difference between a rough patch and going through something that’s more than just a rough patch?
How to Tell It’s More Than a Rough Patch
- Your Communication Has Become Very Limited (or Has Stopped)
If you and your wife have stopped talking, this could signal major trouble for your marriage. Sure, if you’re not talking because you had a fight or your schedules have gotten hectic, you may be going through a rough patch. But if you’re not talking because you don’t care to tell each other about your days, or you have unresolved anger towards one another, it may be more than a rough patch.
Communication is key to a strong relationship, and it’s important to make sure that you don’t take good communication for granted. Communication is essential for support, comfort, and emotional well-being. Without proper communication with your spouse, you may feel like you’ve lost your connection or even feel like you’re living with a stranger. A lack of good communication is one of the main ways couples start to lose each other, and if it goes on for too long, could deteriorate into grounds for divorce.
Couples go through many tough situations that they’re able to work through, and even come out stronger on the other side. But sometimes, an issue is so problematic that the only way to solve it is divorce. If you’re going through something that seems beyond saving, see if you can work it out with couples’ therapy or individual therapy, depending on the situation. Seeking help will help you figure out whether or not you can work through your issues. If you try to work it out and it’s not getting better and seems unsolvable, divorce may be your best option.
- There’s No Trust in Your Relationship
A lack of trust in your relationship can stem from a number of different things. It could be that one of you did something to break the other’s trust, or it could be that someone from the past did something to break the trust and it’s still consuming your or your spouse’s thoughts and actions. You should never blame your spouse for the things someone else did, but sometimes people become obsessively jealous because they had someone in their past cheat on them. Wherever the doubts and jealousy comes from, a lack of trust can ruin a marriage.
If one of you breaks the other’s trust, whether it was infidelity, dishonesty, or any other type of betrayal, you need to decide whether you’re willing to put in the effort to get through it and gain the trust back. Jealousy and trust issues can seriously damage a marriage, especially if it’s due to insecurity and grounded in past relationships rather than the current one.
- Your Values Don’t Match
Some couples get married knowing their core values aren’t the same but are too in love to care. Love and infatuation can only take you so far. Over time, if your core values aren’t in line, and compromises can’t be reached, it could be grounds for divorce. For example, if you grew up in a family where your mom was happy to stay home and look after the kids, and you feel like that’s the way it should be, but your wife is adamant about having a career, this could become a major, unsolvable issue. Or, if one of you values independence but the other is completely dependent on the other and isn’t okay with them doing anything on their own, this could also spur serious problems.
- Your Relationship Has Become More Like a Business Partnership
Is your marriage feeling more like a business partnership where you’ve started living parallel lives rather than spending time together? Then you may be headed for a split. Sometimes when couples are going strong, they end up putting their attention and energy into other aspects of their life like work, kids, hobbies, friends, and pretty much anything else other than their spouse. It often doesn’t turn out well when this starts to happen.
You need to constantly put work into your relationship, even when things are going well. Make sure not to lose the spark. Keep spending time with one another, go on dates, take trips without your kids, do little things that show you care. If you start losing your connection and never make time for each other, it could be grounds for divorce.
- One of You Isn’t Willing to Work on Yourself
Marriage is a two-way street, and both you and your spouse need to constantly be working on yourselves to make the partnership work. In a strong marriage, you need to grow together while fulfilling yourself and becoming the best person you can be. If one of you is stuck in a funk, whether it’s substance abuse, unemployment, or a tragic loss, and isn’t willing to get better, it can be a huge burden on the marriage. Everyone goes through tough times, and sometimes it takes a while to get back on track, but as long as you realize that and are willing to work through it, you can overcome it and build on your relationship.
If you don’t grow together, you end up growing apart, and it takes work on an individual level to foster your relationship. If one of you continues to grow and the other stays in the same place, it can trigger major issues and negative feelings from both sides.
How to Know If Your Situation is Grounds for Divorce
The last thing you want to do is make a major decision about ending your marriage before you’ve given it enough time. Unless there was some sort of abuse, betrayal, or infidelity that can’t be forgiven, give your marriage time before jumping into a divorce. Depending on the situation, there could be something one, or both of you needs to work on. Marriage is work, don’t forget that. Even in good relationships, both parties still need to work on creating a strong relationship.
If your situation is unsalvageable or one of you isn’t willing to work on themselves to make things better, it can result in a lack of communication and a relationship that feels more like a business partnership than a loving union. Once the caring and work has stopped, you need to dig deep to decide whether your marriage is worth saving or if divorce is the best solution.