There’s no shortage of advice on how to recover from life after divorce. Even with all the information available, the experts often overlook one crucial thing—divorce offers positive opportunities and aspects. As with anything, you have to take the bad with the good, but make no mistake, there is plenty of good!
Here are 15 ways life after divorce can be better than ever:
1. Taking Care of Yourself
Post-divorce you can focus on things that fell by the wayside when your marriage took priority. Whether it’s sinking hoops a couple nights a week at the gym or heading to the golf course every Saturday, you now have time for taking care of you. So, go ahead, treat yourself!
2. A Good Divorce is Better for the Kids than a Bad Marriage
Constant tension gets to kids. Maybe you think you’re doing a fair job of keeping marital strife under wraps, but kids pick up on things.
When parents make a decision, and explain the situation in age appropriate way, kids are able to come to terms with the result and stop worrying about what is happening behind their backs. It’s much healthier for kids to see mom and dad dealing maturely with conflict, than to witness the ugliness of parents mired in misery and bitterness. When your kids see you and your ex as individuals, they will realize that while their own futures may bring challenges and pain, they too can overcome them and be happy again.
3. Find Out Who Are Your Real Friends
Divorce reveals those “friends” who were never real friends to begin with. Some friends may ditch you to side with your ex. Fair-weather friends disappear for fear you will be a downer. Married friends worry they won’t have as much in common with you. Good riddance!
4. Take Control of your Happiness
You no longer need to check with someone else before you do the things or hang with the folks you enjoy. You don’t have to listen to anyone put you down or treat you disrespectfully. From today on out, for the rest of your life after divorce, you can give a huge “See ya!” to anyone who drags you down with their negativity and sucks the joy out of your life.
5. Permission to Reinvent Yourself
Ever wondered what you would be like, and what your life would look like, if you never married? No need to regret over the road not taken, you can be that guy! The trips you never took, the people you never met, the adventures that passed you by, are all within your reach.
6. Be a Better Parent
When you are less stressed and demoralized over your failing marriage, you will have more energy to be present when spending time with your kids. You will be able to model the type of positivity you want your kids to experience, instead of the downtrodden, resentful example you were projecting in your bad marriage.
7. Clear the Way for A Woman Who Will Respect and Admire You
Letting go of a relationship that no longer serves you makes room for a compatible, loving partner who cherishes what you have to offer to come into your life. Life after divorce gives you the chance to replace conflict with the happiness that comes from having the right life partner.
8. Living in Truth
Few experiences are as liberating as the day you stop living for others’ approval. No more faking that you are in a perfect marriage, covering up your pain out of shame. You can stop lying about why you showed up alone to the Holiday party or are not making it to your in-laws annual Thanksgiving feast. Nothing makes you as happy as being authentically who you are, without apology.
10. Revive Neglected Passions
Remember those hobbies and sports you gave up because your spouse didn’t like them? She couldn’t handle spicy food and you love it? Order some Thai and tell them not to hold back on the spices. She hated your sports addiction? Now you’re free to obsess over your fantasy football picks and feast on nachos and beer on Sundays.
11. Hang Out with The Guys Again
No need to miss your single bros that stopped inviting you on Vegas road trips and out to ball games once you were hitched. Put their numbers back on your speed dial. You’re one of the guys again.
12. Renewed Sense of Adventure
Stability and partnership have their advantages, but they have their disadvantages too. One thing you give up is the ability to let loose and try new things. Remember how cool it was to head out for a night with no destination in mind and see where you’d end up? Imagine all the great stories and adventures that await you in your life after divorce.
13. Permission to Ask for Help
If you typically have trouble asking for help, you now have a good reason. Family, friends, heck, even co-workers will likely offer to lend an ear, or a hand, during your difficult time. It may even bring you closer to them, as these types of major life changes often do.
14. Rediscover the Pleasure of Solitude
Sometimes the best feeling in the world is sitting in your sweats, streaming your favorite show, ordering take-out, with the sweet knowledge that you have no where you have to be and no one to answer to at all. We all need time to chill. Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely. In fact, sometimes it means the freedom to relax after a long day, or a busy week, and renew your energy reserves so you’re ready to kick ass Monday morning.
15. Life After Divorce Means FREEDOM
You are the one in control now. No need to go rounds with someone else for every major decision. No need to compromise on the big things that matter most…or even the little things. Go ahead and eat pizza for breakfast, drink out of then milk carton, and leave that toilet seat in the upright position!
Yes, divorce is difficult. Yes, transitions bring pain and uncertainty. But no, life after divorce is not the end to all the great things you will achieve and experience. Far from it! As much as divorce is the end of your married life, it is also the beginning of the next phase of your life. There are endless opportunities awaiting the newly divorced you. Shift your focus from what is ending to all the beginnings coming your way and you are guaranteed to open your life to a whole new world of pleasure, growth and adventure.
Enjoying your new freedom? Tell us how you’re crushing it in the comments below.
We’ve got even more info for you in The Ultimate Guyvorce Guide to Building a Life After Divorce.
Don’t keep the good stuff to yourself. Share this on social media.